Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. You will no longer have hands. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Clearly, with teenagers in the house, dating happens. There is quite a bit of focus on the girls in this area, but not so much on the boys. Trust me, mothers of sons can be just as psychotic as fathers of daughters, and to avoid that, I have come up with the following rules for dating my son:. No drama or angst. I have already heard stories of girls who suddenly began cutting themselves, ran away from home, and have threatened to kill themselves.
So, I am recently back on the dating market after a long hiatus, this time with the cutest little boy ever fact. My life is complex and chaotic I dropped my married last name on social media.